like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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