i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I supernannyed him into submission
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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