I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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