Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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