This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
