There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
