oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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