"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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