He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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