Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
