writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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