he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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