I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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