I look better un-naked...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
