I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
