I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize