my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
