So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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