Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
