omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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