She's JV to your varsity
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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