Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
