im holly from the hills drunk
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
