I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I will pee on everything he values.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
