how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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