Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
