gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
