I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
