Having a random hookup so left but love u
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
