I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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