dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
