she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
