puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
