wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
