I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
