Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
