I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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