YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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