I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
