It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
