yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
