We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize