I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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