I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
