No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
