For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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