We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you win again, gameday.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
