Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
