Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
