People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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