Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
