I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
