the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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