haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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