i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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