the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
