Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
