I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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