i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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