five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
