Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
