he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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