Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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