He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It's shark week go big or go home
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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