So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
