She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize